So what is Conformity?


I’m reading a book on social psychology these days, as a part of my goal to completely and fully understand the human mind. (Seriously, how free am I?) And in the pages I have managed to leaf through until now the author has again and again talked about conformity. He has talked about peer pressure. He has elucidated  on how our behavior changes when we are in propinquity to certain people. He has talked about how badly we want to be accepted.

He has talked about all the things every body hates to talk about, let alone accept it. Also, this post might seem preposterous to certain people, I request you to maintain your rationality and not take anything personally.

Have you ever wondered how your sense of self esteem is directly proportional to your social media account? The rate might vary, but don’t you feel a tinge of satisfaction when the likes cross 200? Or do you judge someone’s instagram based on the number of followers they have? Be honest about it. Do you feel .. ‘proud’ after crossing 1000 followers?

This ‘feeling’ that I’m talking about, this is called ‘conformity.’ Or in simpler terms, ‘validity.’ The feeling of being accepted. The reason why we post it and then wait for the notification box to turn red, is because we crave validity. We crave approval. We crave people nodding their virtual heads seconding us.

I] Why exactly do you ‘dress better’ for a date? I mean, it’s not a rule right? You might as well flaunt those striped pajamas? Then why? Some inner voice telling you to ‘make an impression?’

II] In a hypothetical group of 5 people, four of them say the correct answer is B. You were confident that it was A until all four of them said the correct answer is B. Now you’re starting to have second thoughts, why?

III] Our hypothetical friend Jack has gone for an aquarium visit with 10 of his other friends. He points to the water and says, “Look Bill! That’s a whale!” Bill looks at him confused, “Uh, Jack? That’s clearly a Dolphin.”
Jack looks at Bill pitifully, “Uh NO, THAT is a whale?!”
Bill turns around to the other 8 friends, “Guys! Jack here thinks this beautiful fish is a whale!”
The group glares at Jack like he just killed a unicorn.
“What is wrong with you Jack,” they mutter together “That is a Dolphin!” 

NOW, Jack is starting to doubt himself.”I guess it is a dolphin ..haha how silly of me. “

Now obviously the 9 friends were paid for the experiment to call the fish a dolphin when it was clearly a whale.

But why did Jack change his opinion?

These three examples clearly illustrate what validity and conformity is. Something works inside our brain that makes us crave approval. Something that forces us to mutate our behavior in order to be accepted. How group pressure can sometimes force us to act differently. How we start to self-doubt when the group stands against us.

How ‘nonacceptance’ causes us emotional despair and causes harm to our mental balance. And how being accepted by our peers can instantly elevate our mood.

How it often gets intimidating when you’re the only person defending a cause. How group acceptance is equivalent to comfort. How social media has only added another platform for encouraging low self-esteems and high rate of acceptance seekers. In fact, the entire social media framework works on this. How the fear of not being accepted has its roots deep within us.

This helped me draw my personal conclusion. Even though our want to be validated is strong and almost over powering our smallest of actions, yet breaking this need of social acceptance is one trait that characterizes the truly successful. Those who manage to defend their cause without being deterred by those around them. Those who manage to break the shackles. Those who are ‘successful’ in its literal sense. Those who prefer to sail against the wind. Although, it is not an easy task.

For now, I cannot promise you any solution to this problem, the only thing I can do is urge you to break your own fetters. Or at least be brave enough to stand for yourself.

But the day my research bores something substantial, I will write another post as an answer to this very post.


Also, I would urge you all to please go and check my good friend Divyanshi’s blog for she just entered the blogging world contributing her creative ideas for fashion. She is one of the most talented people I have met and portrays on her blog her own colorful and unique sense of fashion and models it all herself. Please visit her space and give her some healthy reviews. Thank you!

22 thoughts on “So what is Conformity?

  1. This is such a great post. It is quite true that social media has made our need to be “accepted” stronger. We post the BEST part of our lives so we can show off to get those “likes”. The more likes we have, the more we feel accepted. I can say that I have felt somewhat disappointed when some of my posts have not reached the amount of likes I thought it would get. It is amazing how our minds work.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I agree. And I was somehow surprised that I hadn’t noticed this omnipresent ‘need’ in us to be accepted before? I mean it’s so obvious and it is out there! In all of us, like a plague.
      Yeah the mind is a tricky place.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Absolutely love this post. I agree with the lovely lady above, that social media plays a huge role in our acceptance! I did a BSc in Counselling, and it’s suprising how much we seek validation from others, which in turn leads to how we think and behave. Great post highlighting the problems of conformity! I wonder how it’s having an affect on really young people, which is quite a scary thought! Acceptance comes from within- I guess it’s all about how we use social media that determines how we see it for what it is xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s wonderful! Having knowledge about counseling must made you more aware regarding this entire problem! And just like you pointed out, this begins at a very young age, right from the day we are exposed to social media. Our entire sense of self approval has become depended on our social media accounts.
      And what worries me is that we have forgotten to accept and approve ourselves first but rather chosen the entire world to be our critic.
      No wonder cases of teenage depression are on a rise these days.

      Thank you for that insightful comment.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. This is soooooo true. No matter how old you get u crave the validity. That urge to be a vital part of a group, not just a bystander. And you know it’s wrong but you still do things just to get acceptance.
    Exceptional post. Just had so many flashbacks

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wonderful post! I was just talking about this with another blogger recently. That ‘red dot syndrom’ of notifications. I got too caught up in it recently myself and have forced myself to back off from social media. But more importantly this really speaks to human nature, and you have done an excellent job here! One of your best. You may have been away for awhile but the time passed has not affected your writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I totally support your humble cause of distancing yourself from social media for a while. I did that too once and it’s very refreshing.

      Thank you so much. I’ve been away because I was just too caught up in my finals and all.
      The idea of writing this post has been looming in my head ever since I got introduced to the concept of conformity. But I just couldn’t take out the time to write about it.
      Thank you so much again. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

        • What a wonderful thing to say. Thank you 😁 And I can proudly say the same. I’m just so glad I had the chance to meet some wonderful people like you through WordPress. So yes, I don’t count it in social media either. 😁

          Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s so true that too often we base our self-esteem on our Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram accounts when the reality of the matter is that we’re chaining ourselves to them. Social psychology is one of the most interesting subjects I’ve come across.

    Awesome post! Thank you for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hey, if you’re interested in the sphere of social influence, you should look up group polarization and the Bandwagon effect. They’re both extremely interesting psychology phenomena. (Group Polarization is actually among the most important arguments against the concept of democracy, actually. Very interesting stuff)

    Liked by 2 people

    • I have studied about Bandwagon effect and I must agree it is indeed very interesting and holds true in our society.
      I shall definitely check out the other one.
      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Although I would like to inform you that when I click the link to your blog which I presume is named as, ‘’ the link is not leading to your website. There must be some URL problem. Check your settings to fix that.

      Thought I should let you know.


        • I understand that. But you’ve gotta make some necessary changes in your settings regarding the same. Else when people click your name they will be redirected to a page that says that the author deleted the website which is exactly what is happening now! Your blog name is leading to your previous URL.


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