A Toast for the Average 

Here’s a severely exasperating trend I’ve noticed lately- this deeply entrenched ‘fear of being average.’ Young men and women shuddering at the thought of ending up as anything that is not ‘excellent’ or ‘prodigy-like.’ They’re often seen carrying a gigantic mass of invisible pressure dictated by the more often than not ‘successful elders & cousins’ of their family.

They’re made to measure the success rate of life with numbers.
Percentage. Weight. Stipend. Marks. Net worth. Likes. Comments. Shares. Clicks. 

Here’s a food for thought-
Since when did we start declaring anything average as ‘not good enough?’
Since when did we start demanding perfection from every sphere of life?
Why are we so scared of everything ordinary? Why is ‘normal’ not coveted anymore?

As a generation, we’ve been fed such abnormal standards of excellence that everywhere I go, every person I meet is busy staggering and toiling to meet them. We’re all more afraid of ending up not glitzy enough or not ‘Zuckerberg-ish’ enough that we forget to be kind to ourselves in the process.

So what if you are not the sparkling diamond everyone expects you to be? You don’t need to be ‘the best’ to validate your existence. You can tread through life as smoothly and as peacefully as you find yourself capable of.

There is nothing wrong with being ordinary. Just like there’s nothing wrong with being extra ordinary. Be at peace with who and where you are and continue working diligently towards whatever goals you’ve set for yourself, without sacrificing your complicity in the process.

Don’t hurt yourself, physically or mentally in the course of winning this race. Success, you must know, is a state of mind. If you feel happy and content with where you are in life, relish it. Your mind will tell you that you’re ‘settling’ only if you feel that there’s still something that needs to be done. Take a deep breath-and do it.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. There is a life that needs to be lived amongst all the degrees and positions and recognition. There are moments that need to be remembered between the board meetings and urgent calls. Lastly, there is a youth that needs to be cherished between all the semesters and presentations.

I just realized I didn’t exactly propose a toast in the proper way. People, raise your imaginary glasses for the misfits, the ones treading the easier road, the ones who gaze silently from the sidelines and the ones snuggled in their blankets watching Netflix. This is for you.

How to Handle Life- 101

In my brief span of the last couple of years, a period I like to modestly refer as ‘the awakening’ I’ve been able to deduce a lot of conclusions about life- stemming mostly from my own, often disappointing experiences. I have always had this annoying penchant to be severely critical of every single incident that occurs in my life.

I sit still, place the situation on a table, turn it around and analyse it diligently until I’ve found a possible explanation. I always have to find an absolute answer; cannot tolerate ambiguity. Because of my belief that there is a certain pattern behind everything, I reduce a matter to its bare bones until I can finally answer the question-
‘Where did I go wrong?”  

It’s not entirely my fault- this knack for seeking absolute answers. INTJs tend to do that- A LOT.

So here is a tip I discovered during one of my analysis that I’d like to share today. A virtue (as I like to call it) I find myself a pro at practicing:

Apathy. 

doors-1767563_960_720

Don’t get me wrong, I do want the world to be more kind, compassionate and altruistic. But sometimes, you have to take some measures to protect yourself from humans- they can be pretty callous.

One such measures is cold and sullen ‘withdrawal.’

I find it typical and amusing when I notice someone’s childish attempts to try and incite a reaction from me, or briefly stating, to make me care.
I have this ability to switch from intense affection to mad indifference within days. All a person needs to do is disappoint, the transition is almost instant and often irrevocable.

This way, you’re saved from hours of pining and mooning over an individual who clearly doesn’t deserve that much time. You’re not resentful, it’s just the emotional maneuvering doesn’t have any effect on you.

If an individual or a situation is becoming an impediment in your mental and social growth, is stealing away chunks of your time- time you could utilize somewhere better, doesn’t acknowledge your value, exacerbates your anxiety than abate it-, this is what you do- you instantly yet gracefully uproot yourself from their life. The final nail in the coffin, ladies and gentlemen. 

Understand, there is way too much life yet to be lived to hand any kind of power over you to someone. Don’t waste time getting offended over things and people who won’t matter in a few years. Don’t give them the satisfaction of being offended. That’s what they want. Don’t fret and whine over ..humans at least find something worthy to sulk about.

Don’t compete with those you subconsciously know are inferior to you in every virtue possible. Let them do the talking, you stay silent, nod and smile. Or better, zone out. I often do that- it really helps. You don’t have to justify your apathy to anyone. If people are stupid enough to walk away from you- be smart enough to let them go.

Trust me, if you can master switching to ‘apathetic mode’ towards those who don’t reciprocate your emotional investment, you’ll live your life liberated from mental unrest or upheaval.

Indifference is a gift, my fellow hoomans. Embrace it. Invest only in those who invest in you. Shock them with your ability to be perfectly unaffected with a taxing phase. Remember,

For common people, a taciturn disposition is hard to come in terms with. 

(And if nothing else works out- go find some memes-they always help.)

Love always,

your blogger.

 


Note- I’m very happy to let you all know that I’ve begun working with the star stuffed team of Acadman as an Editor. It’s an independent student run website currently focusing on educational advancements and internship experiences for the students of India. 

If you have any experience to share from an internship you did, do contact me and I’ll see how we can publish it.