Cup of Thoughts- I

Hello all,

It’s been a while since I gathered the strength or willingness to directly reach out to you all. It’s not like I didn’t have thoughts to share (i always have thoughts to share) but I was waiting for something to stir me out of this mental hibernation I had purposely decided to settle into. And today on this rainy afternoon I managed to find it- or rather it found me.

I’m not going to go into detail as to what it is- I’ve decided to save that for some other day, but I do wish to share what it talked about.

While I was growing up, there was a small corner in my mind- one that didn’t indulge in mindless frivolities or amusing every minute of the day with a joke- in which a seed was planted, right at the moment I opened the page of a book. I remember that small corner getting more fertile and rich as I waded through classes, but all the more shoved away as I reached high school- perhaps due to my fear that it might be ridiculed, if exposed.

Now having passed those stages and after having experiences (both bitter and sweet) that honed me into who I am today, that small corner has matured, grown and occupied every rim of my mind, save a little for experience to fill. And now I find myself understanding every facet of life through this filter.

A thought I was fostering for a long time was recently addressed by a person I look up to, through a monthly letter sent to his readers, and that letter forms the content of ‘it’ today.

It spoke of the noise of the world. And by how each passing day that noise seems to grow louder and fiercer to the point that we’ve now chosen to ignore it and function along with it (i don’t know which is worse.)

When we stand on the cusp of adulthood, we’re asked to find our place in this world. Mostly through screaming what we are capable of accomplishing and grappling for that spotlight. We’re told that the world won’t notice us until we grab it by the collar and shake its attention towards us. That this world is a magnificent, malicious giant who won’t listen to you until you’re out there screaming ‘hey look what i can do’ with the rest.

My question has always been plain and simple.Β ‘What if I don’t wish to scream?’ What if the spotlight never appealed to me? What if in this world of distinguished humans who’re out there scaling new mountains everyday, I simply wish to walk along.

What if I choose to see the glass for what it is- rather than empty or full.

What if what I need in my corner of the world is the ability to simply be; without the looming threat of being ‘left behind’. To exist with art and find meaning on my way, while I try my best to foster love, kindness and empathy, should others ever need it.

I never wish to be part of this disorder. But rather help those who chose to lunge but are suffering. The letter said that beautiful things like art/poetry/love/kindness and empathy often come in a whisper. But since we’re all screaming and the noise is deafening, they whir past us. Some who’re wiser feel their presence at times but are unable to grasp it- the world being too big a distraction.

The world always seems too daunting to me. Too big for someone so small, so insignificant. I know that should I ever choose to scream along, my voice will be hushed before I’ve even opened my mouth, because I won’t.

That’s why I choose to remain in this corner, playing my part through what I write, hoping somewhere someone who’s stuck in the disorder bumps across it, and finds a moment of peace. Until then, I shall sit and nurture and grow as much as I can.

Go out there and make your mark. Look up at the stars more often.

If the disorder becomes too wild and you choose to look away from it, I’m right here waiting.

 

Until then.

 

Love always,

Your blogger.

27 thoughts on “Cup of Thoughts- I

  1. Welcome back…good to have your wise thoughts back on my screen again. As you know I’m in the middle of major changes. Which coincided with my 50th birthday two weeks ago. So even though things are rough right now, I have decided to own my life in a better way now. I am being slightly bolder in the things or actions I take. I have more of a f*** this feeling when I feel like I have been wronged, and as I think you saw, I made a 50 things at 50 bucket list to drive these points home in the next year. I wish I had realized these things better at your age, but I have no regrets. Look forward, not back! Welcome back friend

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It sounds like those words you received were a beautiful gift…they echo how I try to live in my corner of the world, words written to offer respite or a touch of hope…welcome back and keep on blogging your own beautiful words!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Some might say its because of the lunar eclipse today πŸ˜‰ But anyway good to see you again here, exactly when I also came back! I was also away, just like you. Its been a while. Hope you are doing great and strong now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aah. Now that you mention it, I was wondering if this singular, celestial phenomenon has any impact on me whatsoever.
      My heart feels heavy all the time. I’m sure the moon spared me. (I certainly hope it did lol)

      Anyway, good to hear from you. It’s been very long! Hope you’re doing well with your travel stories and a published book! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • When you have a heavy heart, maybe only thing you need is to talk to someone! Moon can’t offer much help there πŸ˜‰

        Yes, I am doing good. I was sort of away from active blogging. But I am making a comeback. Probably the moon effect πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Good to hear from you. Lemme know if you wanna talk or anything, sounds like you’ve been through a lot. Or maybe you haven’t been through anything. Sometimes the effect is the same.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I might be wrong, but are you the person who was working on a super cool sci-fi book? Or am I completely mistaken?

      I love to talk. With the right people, I never shut up. And you definitely seem like a good person, reaching out to others is one of the many traits of good people.

      I’m not sure if I’ve been through a lot, but I have certainly been through stuff. Not sure if that makes any sense.

      Thank you for asking how I’m doing. I wish I could explain you how much it means to me. Hope you’re doing good too.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s a super cool fantasy book, but I’ll take credit πŸ™‚

        Well I’m glad you feel that way. And yes, that makes perfect sense.

        Don’t mention it. Thank you! Feel free to shoot me an email. If you’d rather not, all good. Leaving the offer there.

        Like

  5. I have been searching my own blog name ” Broody perspective” and I found this blog and this post that summarises my thoughts. And I’m honestly glad that I found this blog.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I have been going through your blog and I especially loved the poetry part. You are a very experienced blogger from what i have seen ( some posts are dated 2014) and I would love to hear feedback and suggestions from you about my blog. In your own time of course. It’s not false praise to earn a follower. I’m sure you are wise to that act. It’s just that I want to hear some honest feedback to calibrate my writing.
        Thanks anyways! Keep posting.

        Like

  6. It’s true what you say about the ‘noise of the world’. Somewhere in the past few years I lost my ability to read literature. I’m trying to regain my reading stamina again but reading just doesn’t come naturally to me anymore. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Cup of Thoughts- II | Brooding In The Tepid Dusk

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