Your Name?

I’ve been stopped midway, interrupted mid speech and often called at ungodly hours and posed different variations of the following question,
‘have we met somewhere before? Do i know you?’

It has become an event that occurs so frequently that the surprise that must naturally ensue such an odd remark has left me. I usually calmly reply no to the flustered, curious stranger in front of me and proceed with my day.

Regardless of whether or not doppelgängers exist in our limiting space and time, I am certain I have plenty of them. Seven, if I may go by the count of people who’ve claimed to have seen someone exactly like me at the train station, subway, airport or perhaps a dream? haha

(either that or I have a furiously common face – which makes me sad, so i’d like you to believe the previous narrative)

**

Once in high school I was asked an interesting question by a friend’s father. The principled, sturdy man examined me from afar and rebuffed,

‘Imagine the world is on the verge of ending. People are dying, it’s total chaos. We’d then need doctors, teachers, soldiers, lawyers to help save the world. The world would need their skills .. what good would artists do then?’ he scoffed & put the conversation to an end.

I didn’t have the answer then. Five years later in an almost prophetic coincidence, his words would manifest & I would have my answer and it would follow like this.

If the world were on the edge of ending, an artist would save people from dying out of despair. He would heal that which no medicine can, grief.

There sir, you have your answer.

**

My mother has a habit of never accepting compliments. If you tell her that her meal was the best course of food you’ve ever gobbled, even if you sang hymns of her culinary skills, she’d still say ‘it’s no big deal’ distractedly.
ma, it is a big deal.

So it is true what Mitch Albom said; over the course of time, we all become our parents.

**

I find it particularly funny when people snark, ‘when will you grow up?’ while shaking their head with disdain.

& it is particularly amusing because in parallel there have been people who have smiled warmly and asked me not to grow up so fast. That I sounded beyond my age which made them worry. Life is funny.

Truth is, if I were to stop being childishly obsessed with all that moves me, if i stop going crazy about all that seems too frivolous to the world to notice, i might actually lose my mind. Reality is painfully unbearable. It is dark grey so I choose to keep my mind full of odd colours, that way I have a good chance of surviving (if at all) whatever this is.

**

They say the greatest cause of suffering is desire. Do you know what my name means?

Love always,

your blogger.

Here’s to Melted Chocolates

How’s everyone doing?

It’s 3 in the morning in my part of the world and I’m in my bed trying to make a piece of chocolate melt in my mouth because that’s how I like chocolates. melted. I once heard of someone who liked their chocolates stiff and cold, snapping pieces in their mouth. Who does that? What are you a psychopath??

Nah jk man. Just eat your stupid chocolate however you like it.

I don’t have anything particularly artsy/angsty to write today. Neither is this one of those trademark, obscure poems I write out of sheer panic. I guess the chocolate is working.

When I was a kid i had a cousin that lived near my place. A distant cousin but I thought her more of a friend. In the evenings I used to go to her place to play. Her grandma, often spotting me running around the house would call me to her room and open her, what I now like to call, snack box. It was a small tin box with biscuits, crackers and other munchy stuff. She used to offer me some of it happily, every single day.

Fast forward 12 years, I am now sitting in my room & suddenly notice the big plastic box from which I’m munching my own snacks. Life is weird.

You know what will happen after I finish this chocolate? I will immediately rush to the kitchen and search for something really salty, like a crackhead frantically looking for weed, and I’d need it really fast or I’d throw up. It happens every single time.

I really have trouble understanding my head.

‘i need to know what goes on inside your head. i want to get inside your mind.’ A thought communicated to me multiple times by several honorary members of the human tribe. Mostly male tribe.

What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever gotten? Mine was, ‘Aakansha, you’re poetry in motion’. That blew me away.

I sometimes open my mind box and rummage for some strand of old memory I could use to feel better. Let me do that for you right now. One moment.

..

found it

This one time I was out for lunch with a friend. We were both having really giant burgers. Like burgers so big their entire insides spill out. And I love messy food. The messier the better. But while I was licking the sauce off of my fingers enjoying every bite, he was dissecting his into neat bite sized pieces and eating like a gentleman with not a crumb out of place.

I, being the competitive asshole, decided to give it a try and failed miserably, with every ingredient slipping midair and crash landing on my plate. Noticing me staring defeatedly at my mess of a meal, he quietly assorted a perfect bite for me on his folk, bun-chicken-lettuce-onions-sauce-bun and gently put the divine assortment in my mouth, which dropped open at the site of his slowly approaching hand. The moment still makes me all warm and gooey. How thoughtful. How affectionate. No, we weren’t dating.


This was the first year I think when I didn’t post anything on my birthday. Is that good? Bad? Were you expecting another sad poem from this grey cloud? Idk bruh.

My birthday fell in quarantine which doesn’t really make a difference because so far almost every birthday has been a quarantine (lol). But this time, one small tiny special detail happened. My gorgeous best friend sent me a bottle of wine because when you’re panicking about the future on your birthday you need alcohol amirite folks? Tbh mix fruit juice would just fine for me but anyway. So the weather on my birthday night was lovely. It was nice and windy, just how I like and the stars & moon were in full lunar glory. I went to my terrace and climbed further up the top of a small storage room built there. And drank wine while watching the moon with Charlie Cunningham softly playing on my speakers.

Not bad for a sad fu*k like me hun? <Head pats>

What else? You know what I made this small list of things I wanted to rant about but I can’t remember where I wrote it.

Oh, I haven’t been sleeping well either. I sleep around 6 in the morning and wake up at 10 for work. My eyes burn but I fix them with caffeine and my boss’ rebukes.

I finished a few books and I’m absolutely hyped about it since I haven’t read dedicatedly in a long time. <well done, you miserable Demigod>

Sometimes when I’m writing here I think of my glory days on this blog. Buried beneath at least a 100 posts is my time here when I had a lot of pen friends. I don’t know where they are now, neither do they write anymore but I hope they’re okay.

I also think of starting another blog at times. Freaking crazy right? Because I don’t feel comfortable venting here anymore. A lot of people from my life know of this place. Risky stuff.

I’m done with the chocolate. Ending this rant with a beautiful Korean song I’ve had on repeat. Here’s a rough translation:

아빠는 말씀하셨다. 너무 작은 것들까지 사랑하진 말라고.
작은 것들은 하도 많아서 네가 사랑한 그 많은 것들이 언젠간 모두 널 울게 할 테니까.
나는 나쁜 아이였나보다.
아빠가 그렇게 말씀하셨음에도 나는
빨간 꼬리가 예쁜 구피를 사랑했고,
비오는 날 무작정 날 따라왔던 하얀 강아지를 사랑했고,
분홍색 끈이 예뻤던 내 여름 샌들을 사랑했다.
그래서 구피가 죽었을 때,
강아지를 잃어버렸을 때,
샌들이 낡아버렸을 때,
그리고 아버지가 돌아가셨을 때,
그때마다 난 울어야했다.
아빠 말씀이 옳았다.
내가 사랑한 것들은 모두 언젠간 날 울게 만든다.
-신지상&지오 ‘ 베리베리다이스키 ‘

Dad said. Don’t love too small things.
There are so many small things that many of the things you love will make you cry someday.
I must have been a bad child.
Even after Dad said so,
I still loved,
Goofy with a pretty red tail,
I loved the white puppy who followed me blindly on a rainy day,
I loved my summer sandals with pretty pink laces.
So when Goofy died,
When I lost my puppy,
When the sandals were worn out,
And when my father died,
Every time I had to cry.
Dad was right.
Everything I love makes me cry someday.

 

 

Hope you have a good day, wherever you are.

 

 

Love always,

Your blogger.

Anecdotes From A Big City (I)

A scene.

A pleasant pink spreads across the sky in the rush hour of a dense, cluttered city. Amidst the filth & grime below, the horizon above looks an enormous ceiling, painted and bedecked with gentle colours.

I’m rushing past scattered groups of people, skipping, trodding down a lightly soaked pavement from a recent afternoon drizzle. It’s humid, I’m still somewhere between jogging and running, just enough to let people know I’m in a hurry, without giving any offence. You never wish to offend elite men in loose ties and baggy shirts, with dry lips from their 6th cigarette after a weary afternoon shift.

I’m trying to get past the crowd, balancing my two bags flung across both shoulders, while also trying not to trip and fall face first on the slippery sidewalk. Reaching the gate, I look around, “6132” ..muttering out of breath, “613 .. there you are!” Spotting my tiny, bulbous green carriage I skedaddle and cross the road, narrowly escaping a splash of muddy water from the wheels of a rushing sedan and land unceremoniously in the backseat.

Green carriages like these are pretty common in big cities. They are small but spacious enough for three. Swift and ventilated. Cheap and easily available. In concrete jungles, essentially built to cater to the comfort & indulgence of the rich, these carriages were a method to not let the working class get trampled beneath the rising rent & underpaid jobs that are the prerequisite of a bada sheher (big city)

The carriage driver looks at me through the rearview, giving me a toothy grin and chimes, “Hurrah! you made it, I was just about to cancel the ride!” I wave my clenched fist in victory & try to nod, still trying to catch a breath. Carriage driver, a plump man in his 40s, with his face flushed and chubby further added, “I was about to leave Ms,” he twinkled, “when, judging by the pace and intensity you were speeding at towards me, I understood my customer is here.”

I burst out laughing. Partly because of how witty & good humoured that thought was, and partly because of the sigh of leaving an awful glass building early and the joy of heading home in a nice, dewey weather.

Still peering through the rear view he added, “Ms, please don’t take offence, but I must say it’s been a while I’ve heard someone laugh so khul ke (freely) in this city,” he spoke kindly. We exchanged a happy glance when jolting the carriage back to ignition, his eyes darted back to the clogged road attentively, never looking back again. I blinked.

I still think about that evening from time to time. I admit I’ve been told to have a fairly contagious laugh, enough to turn a few glaring public eyes. But somewhere, and I say this with all humbleness, his kind remark was more than just on the visual or auditory anatomy of my laugh. I should like to believe, he was recognising the rare, carefree, kind and guileless quirks of a laugh with no buried intention. A laugh meted solely because of the incapacity to contain the happiness of whatever inspired it.

Why did he take a moment and appreciate something so plain? Perhaps, propped on his driver’s seat in the afternoons, with a metal box of roti and saag, he too notices the grim faces and empty eyes of the people whiling through their lunch breaks trying to make it through another day.

Perhaps he too wishes for a merrier, warmer world. Where respect and kindness are offered without prejudice. Perhaps when we laugh and acknowledge the presence of another breathing thing, we fix a tiny gash somewhere in the fabric of world.


 

Hope you’re keeping safe & staying inside while the Earth takes its time to reboot. To those suffering due to the pandemic, hope your grief heals a little through this prayer.

 

Love always,
Your blogger.

A Spatial Affair

Have I ever told you how much I love space?

Outer space.

The first time I ever managed to foster an ambition, I was 10 years old fashioning a blunt hair cut, dirty brown hoodie and eyes that weren’t blind without glasses. Hopping up and down with the kind of earnestness you expect from a kid who believes he’s just found his purpose in life, I announced with as much resolve as I could, “Mum, when I grow up, I will be an astronaut.”

In return I was thrust with a bag full of clothes that needed dry cleaning.

But my passion never snuffed. I went ahead and made a fat, exhaustingly detailed project on ‘The Solar System’ for my yearly submissions and ended up getting full marks.
“If I can get full marks here, I can surely become an astronaut”, my ten year old brain schemed eagerly.

But then I grew up. And slowly with each passing year and with the arrival of Physics, Chemistry and Math died my dream of ever stepping into space. Later arrived teenage angst, thick glasses and youthful indiscretion and my love for stars and planets was unwillingly buried under copious amounts of schoolwork.

After a decade when I unearthed that passion again and held it in my hand it seemed to throb with life; it was old but stronger and fiercer. And now when I look at it with grown up prudence I understand that my love for space has always been solely from an artists perspective.

I love the stars for being stars. I see space as a vast painting, I see it as a gigantic portal of beauty and wonder. I feel a life in the cosmos. When the universe takes deep breaths our sky shakes a little. Meteors are sparkling messages from one galaxy to another. When the sky is pink, someone’s wish has been answered, when it is grey, somewhere someone’s heart is heavy. The universe is a huge, magnificent work of art, one that we’re too small and too puny to comprehend but too nosy to not be part of. It is for this reason that when you gaze at the night sky dotted with silver stars, your problems don’t seem so big.

This is how the artist in me has romanticized space and this is how it shall always be.

On December 13th after midnight, I lay on my terrace alone and watched the night sky slowly emblazoned with a dozen meteors. There was complete stillness except for an occasional brush of cold, frigid wind.  First there was a small, thin streak of silver light slowly piercing the velvety dark and I gulped and shivered a little.

And before I even blinked, the night was embellished with a splendid meteor shower and I soaked it in with bated breath and gaping eyes. It was an ethereal scenery painted by some strange, elusive artist.

Reader, it was the most beautiful and heart warming feeling I ever experienced.

While the night before me swirled and danced with a thousand shades of gold, a strange, subdued part of me whispered and tugged at my sleeve. It made me turn my head and stare at the empty space next to me. Subconsciously I wondered how it’d be to experience something this miraculous next to someone. It’d be comforting to look sideways and smile in between, no?

The Geminid meteor shower arrives every December. I close my eyes and make a wish.

Maybe years from now on some December evening, the universe would be considerate and the sky will be pink, for me.

 

Love always,

Your blogger.


Close your eyes.
Turn off the lights.
Listen to it alone.


P.s- I hope everyone realizes the above piece is purely fictional. There’s no way I could’ve watched the Geminid Meteor Shower from my terrace in the heart of a bustling city. But since I yearned to experience it, I chose to live the event by wondering and writing about how it would feel like.
That’s all I could do, couldn’t I?

Before The Storm

When I was little, one of the many things I waited earnestly for, were storms. They usually hit our city at night, and I used to gobble my food as fast as I could, so as to not miss a second of it.
I remember I was around 7 when I realized I was fascinated with sharp claps of thunder and dark, grey ominous clouds thrusting the wind down upon us. The ferocious, swift gushes of wind. But that wasn’t​ the best part.

The best part was standing right in the middle of the soft howling and feeling the air pierce itself while blowing against my skin. Realising, that at this instant, I’m in the wind’s way of wherever it is heading.

storm

Staring at the revolting clouds stretched far across the sky, shielding the stars and blanketing the night into a thick, impassable darkness. And the sky is breaking apart while a low, yet consistent boom of  clouds can be heard, like an old God is furious and is expressing his disapproval of the human kind. It evoked in me, a certain maudlin sense of satisfaction.

So when today the first storm of the season hit our city, I found myself following the same pattern. Gorging the dinner as fast as I can and then rushing outside, right in the centre of the stage.

I always make sure I walk against the wind; in whatever direction it is blowing, I’m always walking against it. It gives me the feeling  like I’m challenging the storm, in a puny way of course.

And no, never once in my life have I been afraid. It always felt like home. As a child I remember, I used to envisage that some day the storm will take me away with it. Somewhere far, in some new, Utopian realm.  And I would say goodbye to this godforsaken place.

So my usual walk at night today was wild, like I covet. I stood alone on a stretch of road, with not a single living soul in sight. No lamps, no torch, just the fitful electric streaks of thunder, making the gaps among the giant menacing clouds visible, if only for a split second.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and whispered within, ‘beautiful.’

Encapsulating 2016

Reader,

How are you today? I hope you’re merry and healthy as we descend to the end of a rather bleak 2016. I’m aware this year has been rather morbid, hasn’t it? Or is it just I who feels that way?
I only hope next year brings some light along with it. I think we all need it.

I’m not going to write about anything today. I’ll just talk (or write?)aurora-1185877_960_720

I had made a point to read as many books as possible this year and fortunately, I did it. I’ve read various kinds of literature and I’m just one book away from finishing every book ever written by Jane Austen.
How cool is that?

And the best thing I read this year was this book I’ve been wanting to read for a long time. It’s called Into the Wild. I’m sure many of you must have seen its movie version. I watched it in 9th grade. If you’re even vaguely familiar with the plot, you can imagine the kind of impact it had on me.

Reader, I watched it thrice. I  take the liberty to say that this movie helped me go through that phase, it really did. And now, 5 years later, the book has done it too; helped me wade through this wretched year.

(If you haven’t seen it yet, you should. Personal recommendation.)

Yesterday I finished reading Jane Eyre. Literature enthusiasts would know how popular that book is. In fact, it is the reason I’m particularly sulky right now. The story is so dark and bleak; painfully gripping.

If any of you is interested in reading my book reviews, since I’ve been reading like a mad man these days, you can find me on Goodreads. They’re not very good though, I’m warning you. If you want me to recommend you some books, ping me an email. I’m right here!

I’m a firm believer that every event in your life has a reason attached to it. There are no co-incidences. You go through a phase, or you meet certain people, or you ‘stumble’ upon some particular thing, because you were meant to. There is no stopping that. And however difficult situations get, I’ll never stop believing this.
The fact that the last couple of years have been hard only reaffirms this theory. They were difficult, but they were worth learning from. There was a reason they were difficult.
15697271_931866380277326_7522596524214243549_nrr

Also, you will not believe something I’m going to tell you. A couple of months back, there was a moment when I found myself staring at the, ‘Delete Blog‘ button of WordPress. That’s right. I was one click away from saying goodbye to this place. If it wasn’t for this life-savior friend God gave me, I would’ve bidden you all farewell.
But she reminded how much effort it took me to build this page.
So I stayed. (Like the Kygo song. :P)

Perhaps the most trying part of this year was around October. That’s when my dad got really sick. That was the toughest, I swear. Staring at your father in a hospital bed at 3:00 in the morning as his hands are all pierced in needles and just praying he gets well soon is a terrible and devastating feeling. I pray you never have to go through it.

And here’s a tip- Never roam around in hospital galleries after midnight. It’s lonelier than you think. Overall, this year has been weird. I’ve had some heart swelling, delirious days. Most of them have been darker. I hope 2017 is slightly kinder to me and not like a battlefield.

Anyway, I’ll close this preposterous rant now.

This will be my last post for 2016. I hope you all had a great Christmas and I hope you have the most exhilarating year, full of new experiences, new people and more love.

Sending a silent prayer for the world to heal a little in 2017. Love each other people, we all need it.

Cheers.

Here is a fantastic song I’ve listening lately. Enjoy!

 

 

Love always,

Your blogger.

Lured by Fantasy

Ever since I was a little girl, the one adjective people usually branded me with was –excited. I was always excited. Always chirpy, happy, laughing, flamboyant, cackling- and I always enjoyed it. I’ve always admired and sort of coveted feistiness.

To this day I prefer thrill and excitement over tranquility. Don’t get me wrong, I too desire long walks on beaches and empty coffee shops.

But do I love books?- YES!
But would I sacrifice a day of reading to go to a carnival with daunting rides? -absolutely!

Do I like to sit quietly at parties and observe people- yes!
But do I also secretly crave to dance wildly with the others?- absolutely!

Like my favorite Jane Austen says
‘Elizabeth had a lively, playful disposition that delighted in anything ridiculous.’

This very disposition of mine directly lured me to fantasy. Which is what I’m here to talk about. Since most of my friends think I’m only one hallucination away from being taken to a psychiatrist, I’m obliged to ramble (like I always do) about it on my blog.

11378957_858488310899619_1188235624_n

I love fantasy. It is perhaps my favorite genre in the world of books and movies. I have devoured the Lord of the Rings series and it circulates in my bloodstream. Sometimes I randomly quote Darth Vader to my mom. At times I try to switch the lights on in my room by saying, Lumos.

I’m trying very hard to learn the Elvish language coined by Tolkien. I literally asked all my close friends to change my contact name to ‘Lord Vader.’ (All of them complied- with a pitiful sigh though.) Half of the pictures in my phone (3000) either consist of mountains and snowy countries, salacious humor or fictional pictures.

Although I seldom try to justify my obsession, my answer to the blatant question is-

The reason I love fantasy is because I crave adventure, in every possible form. I love a rapidly beating heart. I love when I’m out of breath (not too much though.) I love stories about dragons, and goblins, wizards, elves, witches, galaxies, battles, gods, demigods. I love everything- unearthly. It fascinates and beguiles me. And what deeply grieves me is the want to be a part of these stories knowing that it’s impossible.

I would jolly well help Harry reclaim Hogwarts or the Dwarves reclaim the Lonely Mountain than solve algebraic equations. I would prefer a battle with Basilisk or even help Sherlock solve some cases (though I won’t be of much help).

And because my life or rather anybody’s life on this stupid planet Earth can never be this thrilling, I resolve to fantasy. It gives me my share of adventure. And also some very faithful fictional friends; powerful if I may add.

giphy

 

So what is your idea of adventure? Let me know?

 

Love always,

Your blogger.

Why Modesty Matters

Honestly, this is the longest I’ve been away from my blog and I feel awful. I’ve lost touch with so many  bloggers and I can’t even calibrate how to catch up. I promise I’ll make it up to all of you.

Those who’ve been following this blog for long know why exactly I’ve decided to emerge out of the grey solitude I love so much. Yes, an issue is troubling me and I won’t be at peace until I’ve written about it. So bear with me, please?

on-the-road-1215575

Those who are fond of standing behind the scenes and just plainly observing people and the massive rate at which we are morally declining would agree when I say that out of all the virtues that humans have so recklessly decided to abandon, one remains on the precipice of absolute extinction- modesty. 

Whether it’s people’s instagram posts, or their facebook check-ins, or just the way they talk and express themselves, I’ve more than often observed this abominable hint of excessive pride in their disposition. Maybe partly it’s the fault of those widely shared images of ‘Love yourself f*ck the rest’ people seem to follow religiously.

But seriously, I feel awful. Truly sad, disgusted and really really pained every time I sense this dark cloud of conceit and vanity looming over people in their 20s who have, if I may be so bold to claim, achieved absolutely NOTHING so far, are living off their parents’ income, fritter away the resources they are provided with and somehow due to some false sense of pride, consider themselves to be doing a favor to the world by existing.

Where did humbleness go? What about being modest? Where is humility?

Everybody I meet these days has this absurd stand-offish air that I fail to make any sense of. It’s like everyone believes themselves to be the messiah. They are the best. They don’t need valuable advice from people who have much more experience than them. They are the ‘star.’ All these titles are self proclaimed, if I may add. 

I’m not saying self-love isn’t important. Of course it is! But don’t you agree that too much self obsession is harmful? Don’t you think, that if you consider yourself to be the master of everything, you’re leaving no space for growth? How will you learn if you’re not even willing to accept that you NEED to learn? How is being meretricious of any use?

And to make matters worse, it’s often the dumbest people who are the most confident about themselves. This sounds incredibly rude, but these are not my words. I’m merely resonating what Bertrand Russell said, The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.’

It’s like after you reach a certain age, majority of your conversations have to revolve around, ‘how great you are doing’, ‘how much wealth you’ve accumulated,’ ‘how many countries you’ve traveled,’ ‘how hot & rich is the person you’re dating’ , ‘how happy you are and how badly you want to tell this to the world’ ‘who’s job is fancier’..

*sigh*

May I just appeal to anyone reading this to please, please be humble. Even if you’ve been blessed with fortune that you played no part in earning, or life has been enormously kind to you or maybe, in an exceptional case you have achieved everything on the dint of your hard work still, please be humble. Be kind. Be open to new ideas. Don’t close your doors to improvement, growth or advice. Don’t be condescending. Don’t be rude.

Everyone faces different storms of life. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Stay kind.

Love always,

your blogger .


Note- Sorry this turned out to be a rather long and angry rant, if you managed to read it this far I have a gift for you. Here is one of my favorite songs from the band ‘Chairlift.‘ Hope you like it. 🙂

Chairlift- Met Before

Brimful of Thoughts

star-gazing-1149228_960_720

Do you ever, somewhere in your deep subconscious mind, feel the heat of tumult and conflict to such an extraordinary level that you long for nothing but a cool, silent wind; wind to blow softly through your mind and ease the burns arising from the constant conflict of thoughts?

To, only for a while, feel nothing but intense cold and then the comfort of a soft, cool rain extinguishing any remaining embers in the parched, torrid land. Have you ever, even briefly, longed for a moment of absolute placidity? Closing your eyes to make thoughts halt and opening them only to be revived again.

That the burden of wonder and curiosity at times becomes too much to bear. For you cannot afford to question everything alone? And answers are only found in stories, here in your mind, there is only a dispute. Constant debate, incessant squabble, shocking revelations, unnerving deductions mixed with a love for stars, nature, seasons and happy endings.

What do you do when there is no particular truth, but only a galaxy of perspectives? The scenery changing with every different camera angle. What do you do with these perspectives-for aren’t they a little selfish? Only acknowledging the mind from where they emanated?

Do you juggle with these flames of unsolved riddles? Or do you spend your life solving it piece by piece?

More importantly, in the process of figuring out this puzzle, do you ever stop and long for peace? If yes, then how do you find those gray showers of rain?

Love always,
Your blogger.

Post Life

Perhaps the most exacting part of growing up is realizing that you are now expected to perform. And that there is no scope left for chances. That there are certain results of a certain magnitude that people want to see you deliver. And you look around and you don’t see protection or second chances, but you see a battle. And even the strongest people I’ve met, have agreed to have felt that fear. Fear of under-achieving, fear of failure, fear of letting down and fear of not being good enough.

It is even worse when your heart has chosen to make a home in a place where the only way to reach it, is to take a chance. And you’re not fortunate enough to take that chance. What we are not told when we take our very first step into the world, is that we only need to grow while learning through this life. And experience its various nuances, replenish your soul with experiences-both good and bad and keeping riches and fortunes as a secondary goal.

Not learn to earn, but learn to understand the right way to live. Don’t hurt yourself mentally in the ache of not being the first horse in the race. It is okay. The onerous competition around us and the fear of failure is like a dark cloud; quiet and threatening.

What we need to propagate, is to make yourself, your life, your growth and your happiness of prime importance. Make sure to not be effected by what others are doing, but to slowly and steadily find your calling. And even if you don’t-IT IS OKAY. That’s what we need to say more- IT IS OKAY.

So the next time you feel fear creeping up your backbone, take a deep breath and tell yourself, ‘You’ve got this. IT IS OKAY.’ 


I’m also very happy to announce that we officially have a Facebook Page. I, in collaboration with a bunch of my supremely talented friends launched our page, The Theories of Everything where we would post occasional words, thoughts and write ups that we pen down.
We’ve also collaborated with our brilliant designer Zer0ality who has taken up the duty to design our posts.

Apart from this, we’ve all chosen to keep our posts anonymous for we wish to let our words speak for ourselves. I know you’ve all done more than enough for me here on WordPress but I really wish from my heart is that whoever is on Facebook, please promote our page, like and/or share according to your wishes for I’d be eternally grateful to you all.

I assure you, the write ups will be beautiful and you would not regret any of it. But even if you don’t I will only add, IT IS OKAY.

Love always,
Your blogger.

Let Me Tell You About Love

Nobody probably expects me to write about a topic as quizzical as love. Somehow, this side of life has still been unexplored by me. Do not get me wrong, I have tried making the sail. I have wet my feet in shallow waters and felt the warm sand below but never had the strength to sail away. Somehow, the depth was too overwhelming, and I always stepped back thinking maybe one day, I will have the strength to go farther.

Nothing usual can invoke me to write about a subject as convoluted as love. No movie, no mushy quotes, not even people themselves.

But the only things on this wondrous planet that can shake my iron heart and loosen the chains a little, are words. And tonight one of my closest friends (you know who you are) introduced me to a writer whose words had such a heavy impact on me, that I was forced to write about it.

Gazillions of wordsmiths, poets and philosophers tried to define love. They tried to capture it, encapsulate it in words, take it in their palm and examine it under the sun, spent nights brooding over it. But they couldn’t succeed.
And there I am, merely a young solemn writer, what can I possibly tell about love? But for my mind’s sake, I shall try.

But first, I present to you Jonathan Safran Foer, the man whose words have made me their captive tonight. I spent hours sifting through his quotations, gasped and shrieked, welled up and shook, got overwhelmed and read it all over again.

Foer says,

“I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone.”
Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

“I hope that one day you will have the experience of doing something you do not understand for someone you love.”
Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

The more you love someone,” he came to think, the harder it is to tell them.”
-― Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

“We had everything to say to each other, but no ways to say it”
Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

 

and my favorite,

“Being with him made my brain quiet. I didn’t have to invent a thing.”
Jonathan Safran Foer

Do you feel it too? The sheer magnificence of these words? Woven so wisely they make you feel so much altogether, isn’t it? How can I possibly surpass this brilliance?

But love I reckon, is more than just two people sharing their time with each other. It’s much more than young love making you bubble with excitement. It is definitely much more than keeping your lover’s picture with you.
If all these things could qualify as love, then we probably wouldn’t have so many broken hearts today.

It is about finding peace. It is about finding placidity. It is about having someone to come home to. It is about growing and spoiling each other at the same time. It is about opening yourself up. And the scariest part, it is about being vulnerable.

It is about courage, definitely courage. Courage to dive deep within someone’s mind. The part they usually keep locked. To scroll through their darkness and still find light and making sure they see it too.

To tread the deep waters yet always hold on. To face the waves, together. To tame the storm, together. To fight the winds, together. And lastly, to watch the sun set, together.

But how many brave-hearts has this world ever produced?

Happy Valentine’s Day love-birds.

Love always,
Your Blogger.

Merry December

Alright I’m sure all my fellow bloggers are pretty busy and occupied these days. Basking in the spirit of festive cheer and the placidity of this fine winter season. ‘Tis the holiday season, indeed! I just thought I’m obliged to write a closing post for this year.  For we stand on the dusk of yet another fantastic, high-spirited, exhilarating year and boy has it taught us some precious lessons.

Okay, so five days when we’d have officially hit ’16.

Wow. I’ll just let that sink in.

I love how cheery the air around you gets this time of the year. Even though I do not celebrate Christmas physically, but in my heart I send a prayer to actually do celebrate it someday. And of course the mighty internet gives me detailed insight of how the world out there is celebrating it. So that keeps me going.

I’d like to babble minutely about how this year has turned out for me but seriously? No.

In a nutshell,
2015 gave me my fair share of highs and lows, fortunately all well balanced. I met a couple of new AMAZING people who love me and what I write and have been ever supportive of me throughout. And even though I got totally lost in between, they had my back. Showing me the right way (and telling me that I wasn’t insane.) Thank you God for this.

I developed more hopeless fictional crushes by reading more and more books thus eliminating any single chances of I ever finding a real man. (OHMYGOD I TOTALLY FORGOT TO WRITE ABOUT MR. DARCY?! WHAT EVEN?) Next post will be about him then.

I finally cooked an entire full-fledged Indian meal for my dad without having to call the fire department. (Well mom was out of town so guess who had to be the woman of the house?)

At last got the Harry Potter Deathly Hallows locket and the entire Lord of the Rings book-set I had been coveting (both gifted by two amazing people.)

Also you absolutely wonderful and amazing WordPress angels who manage to read my gibberish and give me so much love managed to make ‘Brooding in the Tepid Dusk’ officially hit 10,ooo blog hits. This Is Amazing. How will I ever thank you people?

All these things have amalgamated to form one huge, grateful and blessed year.

I’d also like to mention in brief on how just like every year, I’ll once again be stepping into a new year as a modified person. New thoughts installed. Memory refreshed. Superfluous feelings exterminated. Spirits rejuvenated and the previously installed files re-arranged. I hope I come off as a better person than I was this year.

So that’s it for me.

I hope you make the best of ‘the most wonderful time of the year.’
I hope your food is warm and your drinks are sublime. I hope your year ends with the happiest of spirits and that you may carry that happiness with you into the next year.
I hope you look back and be truly gratified with what you have.
And if by some ill-fate you cannot, I pray happiness and love finds you. Thank you.

Merry Christmas and very Happy New Year guys.

I’ll see you all in 2016. 🙂

 

SOCIAL EXPERIMENT

My curiosity always gets the better of me. Somehow, even in unusually intricate situations, I find it very hard to suppress it. And human mind intrigues me the most. Irrespective of how tortuous, mind-boggling, complicated, nerve-wracking piece of a labyrinth it may become, human mind is my most favorite puzzle. And often I tend to ask people specific questions to unravel certain details about them.

And every time I do it, I’m always surprised in the most wonderful way! Every human has a kaleidoscope of emotions and some of them are kept bottled up. Not because they are secret or dark, but simply because no one really asks about them.

I decided to change that today. I asked every teenager in my contact list a question and gave them 5-10 minutes to answer. I asked them not to dwell over it too much, but jot down whatever came to their mind first. Be as impulsive as they could be.

The question was,
‘If you could convey one message to your future husband/wife, what would that be?’ 

All the answers were amazing, but some of them completely blew my mind! And honestly speaking, the boys gave more disbelievingly emotional replies than girls. What is happening? I thought girls were the sappy ones? 😛

Here’s an overview of all the answers I received. Enjoy.

GIRLS: 

1.) “Don’t be a normal person when it comes to temperament. ”

2.) “Please be exactly the way I’ve imagined you to be.” 😛

3.) “I’ll commit myself to you and pray for you always. The love between us will bring us together forever with many beautiful and precious moments.”

4.)”Just be honest with me, no matter WHAT you do when I’m not there.”

5.) “YOU BETTER BE SWOLE.”  (This girl is a fitness enthusiast! XD) 

6.) “If you really want to have a happy married life, you better live up to my expectations. 😛  No, but seriously, come with no pre-conceived notions about me, be my best friend and have a strong opinion on things.”

7.) “Respect is the most important. Let’s respect each other?”

8.) “Be a gentleman and I’ll teach you good things in bed.”

9.)” Don’t marry me if you value your life. SAVE YOURSELF. RUN!” 😛

10.) “I’m a pain in the ass. I’m a mess. I get upset for no reason and I’ll drive you crazy.  But I promise I’m worth it and I’m never giving up on you.”


BOYS: (Brace Yourselves)

1.) “I knew from the start that you were the one.” (Aww.)

2.) “I am very moody and my feet smell real bad.”

3.) “I know I couldn’t find a girl like you. You define beauty and simplicity. You’ve made me the luckiest person. I promise to love you the way I have. You are my strength and my love.” (Grabs tissue.)

4.)’I love you.’ (This dude won the ‘Most Straightforward Boyfriend’ Award) 😛 

5.) “If you can keep up with my shit, then as a husband, I’ll be as loving and caring as it gets.” (OH MY GAAAWWD.)

6.) “Hey partner, congratulations, you’re 18.
ON THE LIST OF 20 PEOPLE PEOPLE I’M GOING TO KILL. ”

7.) “Take your time to come. I’m not in a hurry. Let me live my life right now. :P” (Best response. XD)

8.) “You’re probably sending some cute, cuddly texts to some other guy and I’m helplessly getting jealous here.”

9.) “Do you even exist?”

10.) “Be safe and keep a track of your health. ”

All these answers came from my 19-21 year old friends. Some of the wordpress bloggers who have been in personal touch with me also have their answers here.

My personal summation of this survey would be that the boys sent more emotional and thoughtful messages to their future partner than the girls. It was a response I did not expect, yet it’s safe to say, this is a happy surprise. Based on the response I get from this survey, I’ll do more of its kind to understand the tangled mind of the current day teenagers.

Here is a little background of our participants:

GIRLS- 1 is an English Major.
2,5,6,8, and 9 are majoring in Commerce.
4 and 7 are Engineers.
3 is an aspiring Lawyer.

BOYS- 1,2, and 7 are majoring in Commerce.
3 is pursuing The Navy.
4 and 5 are aspiring Engineers.
6,8,9 and 10 are future Lawyers.

For what it’s worth, I really got to know my friends better through this survey. I can also use this information against them to embarrass them in future. That’s right, I make the rules.

Let’s do this with you.
Tell me in the comments below, what message would you give your future partner right now?

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Wherever you are right now, whatever is the hour of the day in your blessed country, if the clock has struck 12:00 and it shows April 11th in your calendar, then you might celebrate just a little bit for me.

Yep, it’s my birthday. Surprisingly, I survive another year of my tempestuous life. I turn 19 today, and you might be guessing that I’m popping champagne or having a gala luxury dinner with VIP Guests from all over the world or Beyonce is coming straight from the US to perform on the occasion, then let me assure you, I’m doing none of that.

In fact, your introvert blogger has no special plans for tomorrow. At least not yet. I might go out for pizza or something.

Although, one thing IS happening as I sit in my chair tapping in the middle of the night, I’m freaking out-just like every year. It’s surreal and it is not happening, I keep telling myself. I’m growing up too fast and too soon and it’s just an year when the spooky digit ‘2’ will be attached to my age. Oh My God. I’m dying here.

I don’t want to grow up, not this fast. I know most of the teenagers of my age want to grow up quick and be INDEPENDENT and all, but maybe I’m an exception.

My phone is ringing continuously and I don’t feel like picking up anyone’s call tonight. Birthdays have never been very mannered to me. I mean I’ve never really been very happy with the kind of ‘celebration’ I have. I mean please don’t think of me as some ungrateful little sh*t, I do get happy, but just physically.

I’ve never been, like really happy and peaceful. Everything is about how big a party you can throw and what you’re wearing and how you look and how expensive the restaurant is, even though I’ve tried all this the past few years, I’ve never truly felt happy. Like something was always missing.

Too many times I realised myself quietly sitting on a chair and watching all the people having a great time. Clicking pictures that seem to have no end, deciding which is the best filter, uploading it instantly, gorging down on food and then leaving. It’s all good, really. I have no problem, but I don’t like these kind of celebrations. The ones that have no real emotions behind it.

I covet nice peaceful dinners or lunch with meaningful conversations and no pressure. The kind of evenings that make you feel that these people are glad that you’re here. They feel fortunate having spent a vital part of their lives with you and look forward to many more years to come.

You see everything is about pomp these days. The party should be MAGNIFICENT. The food should be SCRUMPTIOUS. The hotel should be SUMPTUOUS. The dress should be BREATH-TAKING. People are so engrossed in making everything HUGE that they forget about the little things. Little things that are so much more important. Details, they forget about the details. It’s exhausting.

I think it’s the birthday binge that’s making me type this much. I’m sorry for making this a sulky birthday post, had to get it out somehow.

Anyway, besides all the above ranting, I’m glad I’m 19 and I hope life would be good to me this year.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Cheers!

I better pick up my phone now.

The ‘MAN’

Okaaayyy. So this post is going to be the cheekiest, eye rolling, head nodding, face-scrunching post of the decade. TODAY, dear readers you’re going to see the fluttery butterflies-in-stomach hyper excited and ventilated GIRLY side of me, which is so rare, believe me.

Anyway, so today I’m just going to list and reason out the kind of traits that I find really attractive in a man. Some specific traits that are an instant approval for them.

Even though I live in my world of fantasy and all of my boyfriends either exist in the pages of books or in movies but they DO exist.

 Legolas Greenleaf  and Dean Winchester ❤

So here it goes:

 SENSE OF HUMOR. 

This is like the top most quality. The guy I decide to be with should at least have a sarcasm level equivalent to mine, my level is evil, believe me. 😛 When you understand and relate to each other’s jokes, there’s an instant connection, at least for me.

If his sarcasm level is higher-even better.

GRAMMAR 

This is such an important criteria. “Tlkin lyk dis izz so annoyn.”  At least he should be able to write a paragraph without any grammatical errors.

RETARD

Well this one sort of personal. I don’t want him to be a retard literally, but he should either be a part of the level of crazy that I have or be comfortable with it, because either way, I’m going to do my thing.

CHIVALRY

I think every girl agrees with me on this one. Manners are essential to win a girl’s respect and trust and good manners automatically make a man venerable. (Go and ask a Brit) 😛

A MUST LORD OF THE RINGS AND THE HOBBIT FAN

All right, you probably think that’s ridiculous, but I LOVE Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit and if you can’t handle that, you might as well let yourself out, get it precious?

BRAVE  & CONFIDENT

Men who are strong and confident in themselves, who care about their goals and ambitions in life and are working towards them are spot on for every girl. Who know how to take a stand, not just for themselves but also for their girl.

HONESTY

This again is universally applicable. I mean there shouldn’t be any reason to lie. My take on honesty is really straight, go for a bros night out if you want and have the time of your life with the guys, you’re allowed to have your own space, but just don’t lie to me about it.

PDA

Okay, please don’t make that face. I agree some of you don’t like public display of affection but I appreciate it. Like not devour and suck the soul out of my body but just not being hesitant to show the love. Like some men don’t like getting too sappy in public as it might deem them as ‘not manly enough.’ Well I don’t want that kind of masculinity in my life.

CLASS

Men who are actually men and not rugged boys with stripped t-shirts are and will always be a classic. Be classy, be suave.

I  could add more, but those are not as important as the points mentioned above. Obviously, all these traits should be a two-way thing, the men aren’t the only one responsible for these duties.

I have a 10,00,00,00,000 crushes and they keep adding everyday.

I AM A TEENAGER AFTER ALL. *sigh*

What are some of the traits that you’d prefer in your significant other? 

Daydreamers

I can’t even begin to tell how simultaneously scared and exited I am right now. Scared because my finals are on my head and I’m here tapping my keyboard, excited because I really wanted to write about this subject but somehow wasn’t able to take out the time due to my mind constantly concussed with Management Principles.

Anyway, so do any of you ever dream? Of course you do! How many of you here daydream? Like stare at the wall and think of scenarios that would never happen?

*Raises hand*

I do.

I recently got prompted to write about this when I found my bulky exercise book lying on the bedside and me just staring at the wall (creepy, I know) and my mum just comes inside and says, “What on earth are you staring at?”

And I jump back to reality and remind myself, “Finals in a week you idiot!”

Not only this, I’ve even featured myself as the lead singer in several music videos and also attended various Red Carpet events. I’m smiling at the thought, I wonder if you are too.

There are basically five signs that you daydream:

1) You have trouble concentrating on whatever it is you were doing.

2) You have trouble coming back to the wretched reality.

3) You picture yourself with or in place of whatever character or destination you like.

4) Sometimes you drop out of the conversation and just stare into oblivion.

most importantly,

5) Your nights are spent picturing things and events that obviously won’t happen but admit it, you wish they did. 😛

If you found yourself nodding over these 5 points, welcome to the Daydreamers Club my friend.


Note: As mentioned earlier my finals are approaching and I’m hitting the books rigorously these days, so I won’t be on blogging that much. Although I’ll do my best to keep you all updated.  

Wish me luck! 😀

Let me take a selfie?

Today was a good day. I’ve had a really busy last week, with my college event lingering like Satan above my head to all the friends who were waiting (and still are) for me to catch up.

The event went AWE-FRIKING-SOME. The audience said I gave a reverberating welcome speech, full of pithy and vigor. Woot Woot!

As for the ‘friends catching up’ thing. Ahhh, we all know how bad I am at socializing. But I did manage to go for pizza with a friend. Which was fine and all.

Now, let’s get to the point.

I’m not very active on social media, but I do  bump across photographs of various girls in ..umm ..peculiarly scrunched faces. Two words I hate:

1) Pout.
2) Selfie.

Combine both of them, and you get a deadly equation:

Pout+Selfie=17412894723852859 Instagram Likes.

pout-is-incurable_o_1164245

I’m not being narcissistic or condescending here, but it saddens me to see the virtual non-existence of natural smiles. What happened to “Say Cheeeeeseee?” How did it get replaced with, “Make Pooouuuutttt?”

I see carefully crafted poses practiced a thousand times in front of the mirror. It’s like people are so much into aiming for perfection that they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be Raw. To be Crude. To be Imperfect.

Everything is revolving around selfies these days. Two things prompted me to write this. One, I saw an advertisement of a cellphone today. It said, “Here’s the new ‘XXXXX’ phone specially designed to take ‘Perfect Selfies.’ ”
Gone are the days when people checked the RAM or the OS of the phone people.

Two, while gorging myself on pizza today, I picked up my friend’s cellphone and was almost going to take a picture when she says, “Aakansha taking a selfie-now that’s something rare to watch. You would never make a pout, would you?!”

I rolled my eyes.

Understand this- I’m not condemning the idea of poses, but there’s a limit to everything. The line has been crossed.

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Either something is terribly wrong with my generation or something is terribly wrong with me. All THIS, the excessive self-obsession may seem futile and innocuous at the moment, but I fear what lies ahead.

Girls are getting OBSESSED to the point where it’s getting downright annoying. If the selfie isn’t perfect-it’s damnation. Hanging out is more for Snapchats and less for interacting. The thing that bothers me is-why isn’t anyone else seeing this? Why can’t anyone else realise what’s wrong?

Tell me fellow bloggers- Don’t you think a picture when clicked by someone else is much more natural and prettier? Think about it. I don’t even remember when was the last time a stranger asked me, “Ma’am ..would you please take a picture of us?”

They all just stick to each other and click a picture of their heads.

Anyway, I’m a sucker for natural smiles and giggles and kisses and not hugs. (Hugs are awkward.)

I’m surrounded by pouts and duckfaces. But I still grin with my 32 teeth. 😀 (Wait, I guess I should count.)

STAY RAW. STAY BEAUTIFUL. 

Being the Younger Sibling

I’ve had some really busy 10 days. I became an aunt recently, which sounds too mature for my age, but yeah, I did. My cousin was in town with the 4 month old adorable little baby boy and I spent some quality time trying to make him laugh (I did make him laugh-I’m a very cool aunt.)

In these 10 days I spent a lot of time with my entire family, which is rare. Not because we’re secluded pirates living on some lone island, but because of my dad’s job, we kept on moving from places to places, so I never really had a ‘Joint Family.’ As a result I really look forward and enjoy these family gatherings.

Now obviously, dear readers, as you all know, I’m a very deep thinker. Even my family’s heavy visit didn’t stop my mind from pondering.

So the reason why I’ve written the above is, when it comes to family, I want to talk about what it’s like being the youngest one, yep that’s me.

As the normal stereotype goes, the youngest ones in the family are deemed as fragile little doves that aren’t supposed to do the tedious or heavy tasks in the family. They’re meant for the tough Elder Brothers and Sisters. It’s even worse when you’re also a girl. Again, me.

Even though there are several advantages to being the younger one but I’ve had my fair share of troubles and problems and I can only hope my nephew doesn’t has to go through all that:

1.) When you’re the younger one, you’re practically the servant of the elder siblings- believe me, I’ve been through it.

2.) The classic cliche “Learn from your brother/sister ..”

3.) You’re often deemed as the ‘rat’ of the family.

4.) When in school, teachers look at you as the little brother/sister of your ‘GLORIFIED BIG ELDER BROTHER/SISTER’ who most of the time got good grades so you’re expected to live up to that too.

5.) You’re always the reckless one. Even if you spill a drop of water, it’s like you brought a zombie apocalypse. “Oh My Goodness, you’re so careless! When will you learn? That’s an entire WATER DROPLET you spill there! Who’s responsible hun? Now what’re you looking at? Go ahead-wipe it off!”

6.) You always loose in bouts and WWE Battles at home.

7.) You’re mostly termed as too ‘young’ for some important task.

8.) Somehow you’re always responsible for any mishappening. Even if it’s found out later that you didn’t break the vase, by default the blame first comes on you.

9.) You are offered the sweaters and shirts your elder sibling overgrew. “You can use them, they’re still new!”

10.) You’re always teased by saying you were adopted or mentally retarded.

11.) You always get the back seat in the car.

12) And the most frustrating one, as if the above weren’t enough-your parents always listen to your elder sibling.

13.) The elder ones usually get the bigger slice of the pizza, don’t they?

14.) Even when you try to be a part of an elderly conversation, you’re mostly shunned by all- “Shut up, you’re too young for this.” 

15.) You CANNOT have the remote when you’re both watching t.v. You’ve to endure with the show your sibling’s watching. (In my case-Football. That’s why eventually I grew a fondness for it). 

But even though I wrote the above keeping in mind the things I faced (yes, I’ve been given a chokeslam by my elder brother) it’s undeniable to say that I’ve had several perks being the younger one too.

I wouldn’t give it away for the world (okay-maybe I would.)

To any younger sibling reading this, I know it’s a hard. *Gives a virtual high-five*

2015!

It didn’t really mean anything to me; New Year. I never quite understood the thrill and the excitement people had just because we were changing our calendars. Of course I don’t have anything against the people who celebrate, it’s just that I have never really had a ‘Oh let’s party-IT’S NEW YEAR’ kind of a New Year. And honestly, even though every 31st of December, 12:00 p.m makes me immensely sad, I don’t mind it; sitting alone in my room in the quiet of the night.

It wasn’t until she called that I started feeling very sad and very alone. This friend I have from college; she’s a school friend too and she’s as boring as I am but the point where she is at an advantage is that she has a boyfriend and they are really good together (not all high-school relationships last for 5 years) and  she can at least talk to someone when the clock hits 12:00.

So she called me around 9:00 asking what was I doing.
“Oh, you mean besides laying in my bed with ear-phones on and staring at the ceiling? Nothing,” I said.
She smirked. We talked for a while and after we hung up I paused the music and just lay there. Staring at the ceiling. I know, I’m a creep. (Don’t press the unfollow button, please?)

It’s the same every year. My parents go to sleep at 10:00. And as usual I’m awake as I don’t sleep at night-LITERALLY. Sometimes, if I feel very daring I open the television and watch the fireworks as New Year hits the different time zones in the world. And then I realize my presence. A geeky girl snuggled in pillows and blankets, in her batman PJ’s; eating soup and watching people party.

Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m writing this. We’re an hour away from 2015. My parents are asleep. And as usual, it’s dead quiet, and I can hear occasional screams from inebriated boys outside (part of the reason why I’m not allowed to go out on New Years eve) and I’m typing this wondering how many people are doing the same right now.

10888420_815514725173729_7328775407510461062_n

Anyway. I know it’s a very merry and exuberant time  and I’m really sorry if you were in your full spirits and opened WordPress to check your blog notifications before leaving for a party and you read this and now I injected a little pessimism in you. I’m incredibly sorry-please close WordPress and go party like an animal! 😀

So a very Happy, prosperous and a luminous New Year to all of you. It’s been an incredible year for me with numerous ups and downs and I can only hope that this year marks a positive first step to the journey I’m going to embark.

Happy New Year guys!

Cheers.

Myths

My mom is busy roasting some puffed rice in the Kadhai for the evening snack and tea is broiling on the next stove. The smell of ginger and cardamom lingered in the air and in I went all gliding and locking and popping to the song playing from the earphones in my ears. I take a handful of puffed rice and I’m about to pop them into my mouth when my mom roars,
“Stop! How many times do I have to tell you? DON’T EAT DIRECTLY FROM A VESSEL!” 
I frown, “Mom, for the 100th time there’s no such thing as …”
“I said NO! Put it back.”
I sigh in surrender and put the goddamn puffed rice back. Take it again,put it in a plate and THEN eat it.

Now let me explain you the logic behind this.

According to the plethora of seemingly infinite myths that India harbors, this one means that if you eat directly from a deep vessel, IT WILL RAIN HEAVILY ON YOUR WEDDING.
 This is one out of a repository of incidents that I’ve explained. I don’t at all understand the concept of myths. First question, who was the person who had the sweet time to sit and make all of these. Second, how on Earth can people believe in them? These things are totally NOT backed by logic.

I was talking to an Irish girl once (don’t ask me how or when but I just was). So we talked about superstitions for a while and she told me some of the Irish Myths:

1.) A dead hand is believed to be a cure for all diseases. Many times sick people were brought to a house where a corpse was laid out, so that the hand of the dead might be laid on them.

2.) A crowing hen, a whistling girl, and a black cat are considered very unlucky. Beware of them in a house.

3.) If chased at night by a ghost or an evil spirit, try to get to a stream of running water. If you can cross it no devil or evil spirit will be able to follow. (Chased by a spirit-that’s a comforting thought.)

4.) Do not turn off a light while people are at supper. If you do there will be one less at the table before the year is out. (This is starting to creep me out).

5.) If your ears are burning, someone is gossiping about you. (Interesting)

6.) If you want to know the name of the person you are to marry, put a snail on a plate sprinkled with flour. Cover the plate and leave it overnight. In the morning the initial of the person will be on the plate, traced by the snail.

7.) Fairies live all over Ireland. The places they live are called forts, raths, or mounds. A fairy king rules each of these places. At times it is said you can hear sounds of music and merriment coming from the fairy places. (Fairies? I think I’m shifting to Ireland.)


 

You think these are spooky? Wait until you read some Indian ones:

1.) If a crow comes to your roof and caws, you can expect some visitors.

2.) If dogs near you are howling in the night, it is a signal of death.

3.) Never cut your nails at night. (I have never got the answer for this)

4.) There is a concept called ‘Evil Eye’ and elders in India often use things like ‘Kajal‘ to protect their new born from the evil eye. The effects of the evil eye may range from illness to death.

5.) Peepal and Banyan trees are considered to be the abode of the witches and thus should be avoided at night.

6.) Broken mirrors and broken God idols are the worst form of bad luck.

8.) You cannot buy iron/ eat meat/ cut your hair or trim your fingernails on some days of the week.

9.) If you or someone around you sneezes while you’re about to go somewhere (work, party) it is considered a very bad omen. You must wait for 5 minutes and then leave.

10.) If a black cat crosses your path, it is very unlucky.

Now when my mom chides me thinking that it would rain on my wedding I say, “Mom, how cool would it be? I’d love to kiss my ‘to-be’ husband in the rain.”
And I get a dead stare in return.

Note: I don’t mean to offend either of the cultures by this post. These are my personal opinions and as much as I doubt the authenticity of myths, I find them equally fascinating. 
Any Irish reading thisI love your country and your accent, really. 😛
Any Indian reading this- Aapne to suna hi hoga upar likha sab kuch. 😉