The sky is a Snowglobe

If someday you & I could get close,

I know exactly where I’d want to take you,

as I fall & watch you get closer,

my heart will swell with the urge to bring you here,

however, I would wait.

wait to see if you’d also gaze with quiet astonishment,

at how vast, how grey, how midnight blue the night looks,

from my terrace

my favourite block of the concrete house,

set aside from the wrinkled sheets & unwashed dishes below.

On evenings after supper, I’m often found plopped on the musty boundary wall,

Laying down,

Staring into the night, my daily repose. Purring, resting, contemplating.

With every sigh, Posing questions to the curving sky above

Hazy with gorgeous grey clouds,

Revealing the twinkle of stars as the wind rightfully sweeps them away.

The breeze makes my skin cold, like glassy slabs. I caress, smiling at how I’d bring you here one day.

You will gaze at the sky in awe,

I will gaze at you with wonder.

 

 

 

Love always,

Your blogger.

A conversation with Space #1

Wrote this a couple of nights back. I’m sort of going through one of my weird ‘poetic’ phases. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

So brace yourselves for more of these in the coming days.

Hope you’re all well. And to my American followers, Happy 4th of July!

Prelude

Months after it began, I felt I’d already died. Like one day I had opened my eyes and woken up to blood smeared all over my body and a few dead people lying around me. For a moment I could not understand why was I here; fighting for a cause I did not believe in and for a master I did not know. But a queer, distant force had thrown me into this belligerent commotion and there was no escape but to pick up arms and fight.

When I got on my knees to have a bird’s eye view of the parched, dust laden field I was standing on, there was nothing but a rough land stretching far down every direction. And darkness blanketed the sky where, somewhere in the faded strands of my memory, once glinted the sun. The imminent threat of what was about to pass for a seemingly long time made my heart heavy with grief and even in the coming years, amongst all the steely clinks of swords and the bashing of shields, I’d often pause and look around for a kind exchange – but all in vain.

For years I got so accustomed to the torrid heat, unremitting anguish, dark and threatening crevices with no end, desolate, cold nights with no repose that now when I stand staring at a waning sun, I do not know how to behave. I haven’t experienced tranquility in a very long time, and uneasiness seems to have settled in the narrowest slits of my mind.

Somewhere I once heard, assurance cures uneasiness; assurance from whom, I wonder. 

I’ll tell you how it was; hold on for a little longer. A queer game this is and by the time you learn how to play by its rules you’re already on the brink of incorrigible collapse. You learn the art of carrying the burden of helplessness and masking it with pride. You learn how to sit still and hear the world around you softly mewling for help. You learn to appreciate recluse corners.

You begin to look up to the sky often, like a pair of bright, celestial hands would pick you up someday and take you far away-far from all the bedlam.

You start nursing hopes of divine help. Any help. You excel at constructing impressive facades- after all, they’ve protected you all this time. Initially, you try to talk about it, to the ones fighting alongside. But slowly you feel derided and just .. not understood enough, so you shut down, turn inwards and find a listener within.

This is how I fought and waded through years of noise and unrest.

seaside-384659_960_720

But now, I’m entranced, reader.  It’s almost like an ending of a long nightmare. I gaze with longing and gratitude at the freckles of grey clouds dotting the bruised evening sun. A warm rain might wash away some of this angst. A gush of fresh rain sweeps the field and I realise I’m still clinging tightly to my armour, so I let go and take a long whiff of the petrichor rising from the moist earth.

Dismally gazing at the distance I think of who I used to be before the war. I make a silent promise to scour her in the deepest of corners and pull her back. But the question is,

Has anybody who has ever been through war, returned unchanged?

____________________________________________

Note- I’ve noticed many of you have been sharing my posts on Facebook. The numbers have been increasing ever since! I’m grateful for the kindness and I thank you so much for this.  

But somehow, WordPress doesn’t give me the liberty to know who all share my posts on other platforms. So if you do share it, please let me know in the comments section. I’d love to thank you in person.

____________________________________________

Love always,

Your blogger.

Midnight Ramblings!

So it’s the middle of the night here and I literally have nothing to do. Like absolutely nothing. So I’m taking refuge here, on my blog and typing anything that comes on my mind.

Well, I reached a 101 followers yesterday so that’s something to cheer for. I can mentally pop up a champagne. The surprising thing is, I’m always ready for reading. Like if I’m dying and the reaper comes to fetch my soul I’ll ask for some time to finish my book before departing and offer him like coffee or something to you know just chill till I finish my last chapter. But tonight, it’s different. I don’t feel like reading which I feel really guilty about and which is a very rare thing. I can almost see my ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ crying.

What’s wrong? It’s terrible. Everyone (and that means my parents) is fast asleep and there’s no sound except for the tapping of my keyboard. My 2 best friends are both occupied.

One is fast asleep as her parents are quite strict about the time schedule.
One is busy packing as he’s leaving for New Delhi tomorrow morning.

So I’m on my own guys. Have got college tomorrow morning-which is nothing to look forward to. Good thing is my another close friend will be back from New Delhi on 18th for Diwali.

Not the best friend. Wait, I’ll explain-
There are 5 people who are close to me as I have, mentioned in my ‘About’ page. In which 2 of them are my Best Friends-like they literally qualify every checklist or a condition for a person to be your best friend.

3 of them are my close friends. One girl lives in Delhi (she’s the one who’s coming back from Delhi on 18th) and 2 other guys who are close too but live here only. It’s a little confusing, I know. But that’s who I am. And that’s my small little world.

So yeah, she’s coming back and that’s something to look forward to. Diwali is round the corner people. Less than 10 days. The preparations have already begun at my place.

What else?

One thing I’d like to say today, this blog made me if not meet but come across  some absolutely wonderful and truly blessed souls. I may have talked to them once or twice or thrice-but they’re just so awesome I almost wish I could meet them personally as I need people like these in my life.

You may think of it as some sugar coating but kindness-it doesn’t cost a damn thing so I sprinkle that sh*t everywhere! 🙂 Moreover I don’t think there’s anything wrong in complimenting people here and there!
These are the people that I’m so glad I met through my blog:

https://doubleyourpresence.com David-You had to be the first one! 😀
http://jimbotimes.wordpress.com Jimmy! You’re an amazing person who gives me free tours of L.A 😛
http://motleyprints.wordpress.com One talented photographer you are! 🙂
http://rroopeshkumar.wordpress.com Roopesh! Perhaps the only Indian blog pal I have. LOL. You’re awesome too!
http://kassafrass.com You seem like a nice person though we haven’t talked much!
http://montairyus.wordpress.com Dominic-Reserved but seems like a good person!
http://teenageintrovert.wordpress.com/ Surprisingly this fellow half-introvert guy (whose name I don’t know) is a good friend too 😀

I wish there was a longer list, but so far I’ve managed to accumulate this much! 🙂

P.s-I had a 102nd follower just now. Yaay! 😛