4 years of Brooding in the Tepid Dusk

4 years ago, on a particularly dreary night, I took the decision of starting a blog. I never gave it too much thought; came up with the name ‘Brooding in the Tepid Dusk’ and thus began my journey of writing all the things I can probably never say in person.

Ironically, today I find myself short of words to express how grateful I am to anyone who has ever visited BITD. The real purpose of this blog was for me to open up. To talk about things that I can’t talk about with people around me.
To make sense of the world I live in.

I never thought anyone would ever bother reading what I wrote here. That this place would be a void where I rambled away the confusion in my mind. But in these 4 years, I made so many friends here, interacted personally with so many of you.

I was stunned, that people on this blog not only read what I wrote, but also understood. They empathized and I even received some very loving e-mails from people of so many countries.

It’s crazy how important this blog has become to me. It’s the place I go to when I’m not okay. Somehow, all of you, you wonderful WordPress community makes it okay.

I grew up learning from all of you. I was 18 when I started writing here, when I was going through, what I call the most emotionally challenging period of life so far and this blog got me through all of it. You guys got me through all of it.

I once read this thought that the idea is to not live forever, but to leave something behind that does.

I feel really fortunate to think that if someday I’m not here, at least this little space I created on the internet always will. The things I wrote here will stay. All the people I’ve interacted with will, at some point in their life, remember me.

So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. For assuring me that all these thoughts in my mind make sense.

122 Posts, 841 followers, 16435 blog hits, 1790 shares, 2984 likes.

And I’m only getting started.

 

Love always,

Your blogger.

Premio Dardos

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I’m a terrible person. I’m the most obnoxiously horrendous person you’ll ever meet. I might just throw myself down a cliff. I’m so sorry Ruchi I forgot about this award you nominated me for some time back. I’m really sorry, I mean I THOUGHT I’d do it later but the ignod that I am, I forgot. Again, I’m so sorry.

So, keeping the self-loathing and the guilt aside,

Thank you to the wonderful author Ruchi of the more than wonderful blog  https://cometravelalong.wordpress.com/ . If you’re looking to have some travel adventures from the eyes of an intrigued Indian, this is your place to go to. And as I always say in every award post, to some people these awards might seem like a futile activity and you may as well shadow them in your ignorance; your choice.

But if you choose to revamp your point of view, one must look at these as a frequent ‘pat on your backs’ and a very modest and polite way to let you know you’re on the right path. These little things help give us a little push we require if we drag ourselves on the road.
They are a resurgence for those who’re a little lost and a motivation to those who’re already doing well.
So this one goes to all the awards out there.

Dear Awards,
Don’t be disheartened, there are some people who care about you. 😛
Love,
Aakansha.

About this Award and Rules:

dardosAnd here are the people I choose to nominate, if not necessarily 15 they all are incredibly kind and talented.

Deeksha from http://undertheblazingsun.wordpress.com – She’s a beginner, so help her by visiting and giving a feedback. 🙂

Jithin from http://trablogger.wordpress.com He’s not a beginner but he’s a good guy with one of the best travel pictures I’ve seen.

Allie from http://wearenewromantics.wordpress.com. She has a very interesting blog, check her out.

Pratyush from http://englishphilia.wordpress.com. Also someone who’s beginning to explore the possibilities in WordPress, give your cooperation.

Veronica from http://kikalavil.wordpress.com. A nice blog post to read. Do visit her.

Anonymous from https://justmostgirls.wordpress.com/ This 15 year old has some very fascinating and amusing views! One blog you HAVE to check out!

Brian from http://vancouvervisions.com/  A very kind, fresh and inspiring blog.

Anonymous from http://albiontoamerica.wordpress.com. A view of America from the eyes of a British Citizen. Check out this blog.

Anonymous from http://tastehitch.wordpress.com. Again some rather amusing tales of Bankok from the eyes of a Brit!

Upen from http://voiceurmind.wordpress.com. Skillful uses of rhymes and lyrics and words. You’ll enjoy this blog.

Anna from http://www.olivevienna.wordpress.com She’s a beautiful and a brilliant writer. I have enjoyed all her posts!

Kassie from http://kassafrass.com. Undoubtedly, one of my favorite blogs on wordpress and one of my favorite persons! 🙂

Anonymous from http://graypoet.wordpress.com. THE BEST poetry blog I’ve come across. THE BEST.

From what I noticed; so many people in my Followers and Follow list  have never interacted or communicated with me or my posts. They have somehow preferred being a silent observer. I appreciate your decision but it’s sort of sad to see so many people who chose to read my posts but have never given me their thoughts and opinions.
Blogging is a community. A place where we interact and share our views and thoughts and ramblings. Every kind of a person and every kind of a thought is welcomed and encouraged and appreciated. Fell free to communicate and always believe that no matter what you write we’d understand and encourage!

Whether or not you choose to accept and do the formalities of this award is your decision, but I’d request each one of you nominated to do it and give everyone a chance. 

Thank you so much to each one of you who’s been a part of my blogging journey. It’s been a spectacular odyssey!

Ideas!

I still remember when I made the decision to blog; almost a year back. It was all out of impulse, nothing specific. When I began writing initially my mind was brimming with stuff to write, so much to rant about. But as time proceeded my mind became empty, or at least I felt it became empty. I saw all these beautiful posts from absolutely talented people and I wondered where do they get the IDEA from? Why don’t I have anything to write about. Something nice; something genuine.

Slowly I realized I was pushing myself too hard. I understood that I should not stress on my mind to fetch ideas, I must let the ideas come to me. And the day this realization dawned upon me they started coming in one by one. As of now I’m never devoid of ideas, now I feel I have so many things to write about that sometimes I forget, as I mentioned here.

And although I never told you all and I have no idea if it’s the same case with you guys, but to me ideas come at night. When I’m finally switching off the lights of my room and I hear them coming. I hear the ground below rumbling and I feel them thundering towards me from a far, mystical land I don’t recognize and I understand that if I don’t grab a pen or paper I’d loose them as they pass through me and they’d go to some other writer far away. I know, it may sound lame, but IT HAPPENS. It really does.

I don’t understand this phenomena, but if in any case I miss those IDEAS they keep troubling me throughout. Like they leave behind a minuscule part of them in my mind to bother me.

What surprises me, is they never announce their entrance. They always come in unlikely situations. When I’m driving I obviously don’t have a pen and a paper to jot them down, so I keep repeating my ideas in my mind so I don’t forget them until I reach my destination and pen them down rigorously. Same happens at night as well. Good thing I have a notepad and a pen beside my bed.

About a week before I was watching a TED Talk by the lovely Elizabeth Gilbert. It’s called ‘Your Elusive Creative Genius’ and when she explained my psyche in words;I was in awe. All this while I couldn’t figure out what happened to me but she just said it-right there. Technically that poet said it but anyway.

Here, see for yourself. (For the main part skip to 10:10)

You can watch the rest of the TED Talk as well. It’s brilliant.

Although it’s creepy how they visit me, I always welcome those mysterious carriers of ideas. They might have unorthodox methods of visiting me, but they do help this Indian writer to jot something down on her little blog for you lovely people to read.

How do your ideas fetch you?